i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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