I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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