I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
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