Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
