Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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