I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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