why didn't you poke me back
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
