K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize