This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
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