do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
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