I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
We just shotgunned beers for America
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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