Soap is not a condiment
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i think my mom watched the whole time
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Randomize
