I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize