why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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