Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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