I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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