So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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