We need to rekindle our bromance
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
God I need to hump something, right now.
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