For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
