There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
