1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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