The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
No subtext here. People are naked.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
