are you still at the devil's house?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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