I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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