lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
