I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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