i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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