can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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