I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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