so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
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