omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
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