i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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