I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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