It's like a parade of train wrecks.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
