So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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