i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
