Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
