idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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