Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
