4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I checked into jail on foursquare
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
