i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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