Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
