Define "chronic" masturbator.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
