Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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