Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
