what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
50% drunk capacity currently
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
