a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize