I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
