i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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