Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize