I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
