I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Randomize
