I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
