Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
