hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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