i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
