I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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