I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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