high people should be assigned attendants
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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