my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
