I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Holy sore nipples Batman
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
