haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Randomize
