just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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