She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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