best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
