I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
