Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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