The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize