you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
