I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I'm like, not good at living.
Randomize
