I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
