Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
