Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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