Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
