Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I can't turn off my feet"
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
