I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
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