Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
