oh god the rape fog is back!
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Randomize
