Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
