You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
