i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
A bitchslap is in order.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
