Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Even the bartender felt bad for me
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I would ride that face into the sunset
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
