My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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