I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Randomize
